On Sunday afternoons our family treks over to the grocery store to do our weekly food shopping. We go together because me taking the two gremlins on my own is not my idea of a good time and I always end up forgetting the vast majority of the things I needed. So, it's family time.
On this particular Sunday, we were acting a little bit silly...when is Jason not acting silly? We came to the aisle that has all the personal hygiene items like shampoo, toothpaste, lotions, and cologne..."Brut" being one of the selections. So Jason says to me,
"There was this guy I used to work with in the warehouse that always wore this stuff and it was so gross. He smelled so disgusting. Smell this, honey, smell this."
Now, when Jason is like this there is no other way to appease him but to go along with whatever he wants or he will bug me about it the rest of the day.
He opens the bottle of "Brut" and takes it over to Piper for her to smell it. He squeezes it a little to get the whiff of air to come out the top for full affect.
Then, it's my turn.
"Come on, honey, smell it. Come here, smell this" on and on and on...
He squeezes it again, but this time he is a little over zealous (I'm sure he was high or something from the fumes) and this time when he squeezes it it shoots out of the top.
UP. MY. NOSE.
IN. MY EYES.
DOWN. MY. SHIRT.
IN. MY. HAIR.
Did I get angry? Did I yell? No, but only because I was busy gagging and almost throwing up all over the pretty displays. My eyes were burning, my throat was burning, my nose was burning, but most of all...I STANK.
What did Jason do? He laughed. And laughed. And laughed some more.
"Are (ha ha ha) you ok? (ha ha ha) honey? (ha ha ha) I'm (ha ha ha) sorry (ha ha ha)."
The sad part about it is that when I tried to nurse Finn at my parents house a little while later (before I had gone home and scrubbed my body clean of the stench) she totally freaked out. I mean screaming and yelling. She couldn't smell me for all the stink I had all over me.
We got home, I scrubbed and changed (burnt the clothes) and she was fine and there was no permanent damage.