Tuesday, July 05, 2005

Who's afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?

Did you have any childhood fears? Things that kept you up at night with their anxious thoughts? When I was a little girl, my bedroom was very small. It actually was very cozy and always messy as I admit that I am a messy person. My bed was this built in that was high up off the ground surrounded by walls on three sides with a small window on one wall. I never, never, NEVER, looked out that window...the shade was always drawn and I made sure that I could not see anything through the sides and nothing could see me.

That was one of my childhood fears. You see, there was this scary, weird neighbor we had that never came out of his house. His name, Mr. McCurly and I believe he had a wife but I never saw either of them. My fear revolved around the idea that this man would somehow climb up on top of the roof and pear at me through this window. It was a fear I had every night when I went to bed and everytime I would wake up in the middle of the night I would do my best to make it look like there was no one sleeping in my bed, but just a pile of covers in the event that he would look through the window, there would be no reason to try to sneak in through that window...not that he ever could because the window had been painted shut about a thousand years ago.

Looking back I do see how irrational this fear was, but I think that if I were to sleep in that bed again I would have the same fear.

We have been dealing with fears in our home lately, and not just the ones about the monster under the bed. Piper has been waking at least once a night and I think it is due to nightmares. She has been saying things like, "do you see that monster/dinosaur mommy? It's scary" And we went to a puppet show of The 3 Little Pigs and she was introduced to the "Big Bad Wolf" and now makes remarks about that.

Jason and I have had our own fears as well. Grown up fears. About two months ago Jason was "terminated" from his position at the company that I am not allowed to talk about on my blog. It has been extremely stressful and we have been afraid of our life. I wish that I could go into more detail but it is out of my hands at this point. And last night Jason said something about loving each other but not being in-love with each other like we were when we were dating...oh so afraid of where that was going and where it came from.

Yesterday was the 4th of July. We spent the weekend at the beach playing in the sand, swimming in the ocean and making sure that the girls had on enough sunscreen...oh how I love the smell of babies with sunscreen slathered all over. We were having a great time until these morons decided to light off these huge fireworks in the dunes right in front of our condo aiming them just so they barely missed flying through our balcony. Finn slept through the entire ordeal, Piper was terrified. shaking.

She wanted to go inside desperately, so I sat with her and reassured her and we watched the fireworks on tv. She said "fireworks are pretty on tv" "I like the big ones on tv"

It made me think once again about my role as her mother. I will protect you, love. I would never let anything intentionally harm you. You are so special to me that your needs will come before mine and I will keep you out of harm's way. There is nothing that could separate you from my love and I will guard you from evil.

Reminds me of someone else that wants to do the same for His children.


jason e said...

We've gone through this with a few of our older children but for us we've figured it to be 'scary' TV shows. To little ones cartoons can be quite scary - so we are pretty careful about what our littlest ones watch on tv/movies now. It isn't easy, but it helps everyone sleep better at night.

- good luck!

shannon dowdell said...

thanks for the advice...that could definitely be a possibility, but I didn't think her favorite purple dinosaur would lead to all this. That evil Barney!lol