we decided to sit with my brother at church on sunday and just happened to be sitting behind a couple that both attended the same private school that I attended in junior high. They were not a couple then, but now they are engaged and nauseating. I swear they could not have been more annoyingly hilarious. It took all I had in me not to laugh during the prayers when she would nuzzle her head up into his neck with their arms wrapped around each other. Not only that but something that really ticks me off is when people (this couple included) can be chit chatting and totally oblivious to their surroundings...example: this couple is whispering and giggling back and forth with this other girl sitting next to them like they are at youth group or something and we are in the middle of the praise and worship and in their next breaths almost as if on cue they close their eyes and raise their arms and hands and assume the positing that is the badge of a "christian". I wanted to vomit all over them. Not only do I believe that this is most definitely not authentic worship, but they were distracting me from my worship and interfering with me preparing myself for the sermon and what God has for me to hear through the music and worship experience. So so so annoying. Not only that, but it is situations like these that lead me to the cynical belief that the whole worship experience is a manipulation of my emotions anyway because who can go from whispering "oh, did you see what she was wearing?" to on their knees crying and in awe of my God? I hate that I have become so cynical about these things, however; my relationship with my Father is authentic and real and rough and difficult and easy and loving and forgiving and all these other things that these "christians" rarely address because it is too sticky.
I did however, learn a few things...
1.) Our bodies here on earth are our tents as in they are temporary and will run down and fail us while our "mansion" waiting for us is not a literal physical "mansion" like a house but rather our glorified bodies we receive when we die...they are permanent. I never thought of it in that manner, I guess I always remembered my mom saying "well, I hope my mansion isn't next to so-n-so's mansion in heaven" and I thought it was an actual house like what we have on earth.
b.) There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves punishment, and the one who fears is not perfected in love.
1 John 4:18
just think about that for a minute...no fear in love. In other words, trying to scare the "hell out of" someone to get them to chose God is not the way to go because there is no fear in love and God is love so there is no fear in God. I also think this has an application when it comes to judging someone for a variety of issues: sexual orientation, race, their position on the social ladder, rich, poor, fat, skinny, whatever...there is no fear in love and we are called to love and show God's love...there is no fear in love.
Later on we went to my parents house for lunch and swimming. I'm glad that my girls know their grandparents, both sets, because I never had that, my grandfather didn't even know my name, it was always "sharon" or "girly" which we laugh about now, but it still kinda hurts. He was a very sad man and his life ended and it was very very sad and lonely because of how he had lived his life. He was buried in a suit that was left at a nursing home after another man died. His funeral was attended by only a handful and was sobering and made me think that I want to know my children and their children and so on. Anyway, we had fun with grammy and granpaw.
Today was wonderful. Piper has started a gymnastics class that she does "all by myself." This little girl amazes me on a daily basis. She is becoming more comfortable in her own skin and becoming this lovely delightful child. I covertly watched her in the class and she was awesome. I couldn't believe all the things she could do and I was so so proud of her. That mama pride is somethin let me tell you, my heart was swelling up so much I was almost certain that is was going to burst. I love love love my girls.