Monday, August 29, 2005

21 Questions

My girls are 2.5 years old and 9.5 months old and already have a busier social calendar than me. We are committed to something every morning of the week except Fridays and even that day has the possibility of a commitment in the future. I like it this way, though, because it also keeps me busy and not able to get depressed because honestly I don't have time to be down. But it does make me think about the fact that it is all too easy to let your children become your identity when all you do is for them and with them.

I am now becoming "Piper's Mom" or "Finley's Mom" or even "Jason's Wife." Far away are the days when I was "Shannon." The days when boys lusted after me, children were things that I played with and returned when they got needy, nights that became morning without seeing sleep, and I shopped for "make him pant" clothes. Now it's more like babies that lust after the "boob", children returned to me when they get needy, nights that still see no sleep but in a bad way, and clothes that I don't care if they get thrown up on.

I need to better myself someway. I don't take a class, start a business (a definite possibility right now), do something that reflects who I am as me, of course that is what needs defining. Now when I think about what I just wrote it's like, blah blah blah...these are things that you will always question I think throughout your life because your life is constantly changing. Jason and I always talk about how ever since we started dating it's like our life has been a whirlwind of jobs and marriage, and houses, and kids, and jobs and lawsuits and kids and houses etc. And we don't really see a time soon when it will slow down. That's ok though because I have the most amazing people to share it with.

Jason: "Do you know how many questions I had to answer?"
Me: "How many?"
Jason: "21. So, do you wanna play 21 question? *wink wink*"
Me: "It's 20 questions, dear."

Wednesday, August 24, 2005

As if

there is this woman that is really starting to annoy me. I was told by a mutual friend that this woman is convinced that I have named my children from a certain TV show that I have never seen and will never watch because it is about witches and as you can conclude from previous posts, witches are not one of my interests. As if I would name my beautiful daughter after a witch?

The whole coincidence thing is that the actress that plays the witch character with the same name as my daughter...well the actress had a baby boy and named him Finley. So the actress that plays Piper has a boy named Finley. It is weird, I know, and it would be a logical conclusion to say that I derived their names from that, but I DIDN'T. And, this woman has been told that NUMEROUS times by NUMEROUS people and yet she still feels the need to bring it up with people that are mutual friends. Just to be clear, Piper's name was a name I had always liked and Finley's name came from some liner notes in a CD. If she had been a boy her name would have been Finn (we call her that anyways) and to make it more feminine I made into Finley after Finley Quaye, who as it turns out is a British black man.

And oh how I wish that were the end of the story but there is more. This woman recently had a baby girl. This woman named her daughter...PIPER! At first I didn't know if I should be flattered or pissed off because we travel in somewhat of the same cirlces (not all that often espeically now) and I know her from when I was teaching and there is a chance that our children will go to the same school and the name Piper isn't like the popular names Madison or Emily or Olivia or whatever. People know my child partly because she has a unique name and I like it that way and I guess this woman wanted the same for her baby but everyone will know that my Piper is the original. So at Mom's Day Out there is a Finley and a Piper in the same class. Geez. It isn't so original when you steal it from someone else.The funny thing is when I see this woman while picking up our children, she will not say her child's name in front of me. It reminds me of this article I read about names picked by parents and how it is realted to socio-economics... like the name starts in the upper-class and slowly works its way down the ladder. So where does that put her on the ladder? She did name her child after a witch, you know.

I am mean, I know...wonder if this woman reads my blog?

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

First Aid

go visit my friend Kellie and give her some love.

Piper and Jagger were born on the same day and that is weird because Jagger's daddy is my ex from jr high/high school. we dated for like 5 years and yeah, his son has the same birthday as my daughter...weird. Anyway, Jagger is a sweet boy and Piper loves to play with him when she gets the chance.

Friday, August 19, 2005

Future Stylist

I have been letting Piper pick out her own clothes recently because it is better than dealing with wrestling a toddler to the ground while she is screaming and kicking me because she doesn't want the "blue" shirt but the "pink ballerina dress." Anyway, the funny thing about it is she will get something out and say "oh no, this doesn't match" and it will be the one outfit that DOES match and then she'll pick something else and say "oh my, this is beautiful. it's gorgeous, mama?" Yes, honey. I don't care about the stares we get wherever we child has unique style and personality and I would have it no other way. She has so little control over many of the decision in her life right now that it is nice to give her some power and choice.

Thursday, August 18, 2005

Reality Advertising

I am delving into my Husbands world of advertising and marketing with this post because I am just so impressed with this new trend of using "real women" and "real beauty" in advertising. It peaked in my interest while reading this article in the NY Times.

It is no secret that Dove has started a massive campaign with their "Real Beauty" advertising and it is about time. How long have we been subjected to ads featuring stick thin, beautifully coifed women who have no idea what it is like to scrape dried up poop off a wall or pray that no none sees you with vomit all over your shirt because of course you packed an extra outfit for the baby, but a clean shirt for you...that is a luxury? What surprised me was when i went to the Dove website and found thelink for The Dove Self Esteem Fund. In the US, the DSEF is partnering with the Girl Scouts "to educate and inspire girls on a wider definition of beauty and to make them feel more confident about themselves." How great is that?

When I was a teenager I (like many others going through what I think is one the most difficult times in a woman's life) never thought that I was all that pretty. Sure, I thought I was average looking, but what bothered me most was my "athletic" figure. My thighs, I thought, were wide and big, not strong and firm. My chest was flat, not fit and trim. I knew that these were things that went along with being an athlete and I also knew that I did not have the body of like a dancer...long, lean, graceful, and thin. I was/am short, curvy, and muscular. The grass is always greener, right? I also think that the way I viewed my body directly influenced how I realted to others...especially boys. I was sporty...therefore tom-boyish...therefore always "one of the guys" and not the girlfriend. I painted that picture and that is what people saw. My hope is that by the time Piper and Finley realize there are "ideals" in beauty, those "ideals" will be a wider range of beautiful and women who are strong and smart and ambitious and independent will be the ones that my girls will look up to an admire for their true beauty.

So, when I saw a Nike ad in a magazine I was so excited to see a company touch on a subject that so needs to be re-invented. It talks about and highlights the fact that a woman's butt is big and round and fine just the way it is. I was thinking...right on! Someone finally gets it...that skinny does not = beautiful. Healthy = beautiful and that comes in all shapes and sizes. There are a series of these ads that celebrate different parts of the body like "thunder thighs" (my favorite because I can relate) and broad shoulders. There are also TV ads that feature real women talking candidly about their bodies.

I have since learned to appreciate my "assests." My body has given birth twice and nourished two girls into strong thriving children. I am strong and it is important to me to take care of mybody and then it will take care of me. I may have "thunder thighs" but I like me like that and really that is all that matters. There are times when I feel fat and bloated and there are times that I feel sexy, but my insecurities or my sense of pride are not what defines me...what defines me is the way I view what God has given me and how I use His blessings in my life. I want my girls to view me as a role model of strength and beauty.

Wednesday, August 17, 2005

A bad case of the Mondays

So I have been feeling sort of blah lately. School has started and the girls are going to Mom's Day Out 2 days a week and we have ballet class 1 day a week and at the end of the month labschool will start and then we will have committments every morning of the week except Fridays. Busy, an my girls are under 3 years old. I like the busy-ness because it helps keep me organized because when you have so much crap to do you have no choice other than to be organized.

On top of that the girls are sick, well, have been sick for 2 weeks. Fun. Now, Piper is on antibiotics...again...can we ever get well? Maybe we have some sort of immune super-disease that htey are always telling you is going to wipe out the whole world when it gets over here from Asia or Europe or wherever it is lying dormant waiting to strike. Oh, the drama.

We went to the church that we belong to on Sunday (we haven't been to that church in like a month and even then it was only 1 Sunday and we hadn't been before that in like 6 weeks) and during the "meet and greet" time people were coming up to us and making comments like, "oh, we missed you" - translation - where have you been?, are you leaving the church?, are you taking drugs? and things like "Oh, I haven't seen you in so long!" and then giving me the look like..."explain yourself!" So, I found myself making excuses for my family "we've been out of town" (true) "we've been sick" (also true) but they kept giving "the look" and I kept stammering on about who knows what until the next person would come over to "greet" me and the cycle began again. I felt so welcomed.

A lot of my frineds are pregnant and it makes me want to be pregnant again, for like half of a second,and then I remember that i can't remember anything because I get no sleep and I can hold off on the pregnant thing for a while. I miss it, though. The first feelings of exhilaration when you see the two lines or read the "pregnant" on that new digital thing. And then the feeling of the cold tile while you are throwing up. And then those first flutters or hearing the fast beating of the heart. Then seeing the little bean on the ultrasound. Feeling your belly grow and stretch. Getting to eat whatever you want and not worry about getting fat.There are definite advantages to being gives youa built in excuse for just about anything - don't want to cook dinner - "I can't cook because the smells make me want to hurl" this excuse also works for cleaning the frige or going grocery shopping. Don't want to clean the house "I can't clean because I can't bend over like thatand reach things and my doctor said that I need to be extra careful because with all this extra weight my balance is off" or "the fumes from the cleaning product make me want to hurl" The "makes me want to hurl" can be applied to just about anything.

Finn is crawling EVERYWHERE now. This is good and bad. Good - she occupies herself for longer periods of time and can get to what she wants. Bad - what she wants is usually me and now she can get to me wherever I am and then try to climb up my leg while I'm wrestling around with raw chicken or something. It will not be longbefore she is walking and that makes me a little nervous.

Piper is such a little girl a kid instead of a baby. She is smart and clever too. She knows more than I teach her and can manipulate with the best of 'em. She is sweet and loving and cuddly and soft.

Life goes on even when you have the "blahs" and I guess it is my choice to turn my "blahs" into "blahmenade."

Monday, August 08, 2005

Your Love Gets Sweeter
Written by F. Quaye

You know your smile woman
You treat me so darn darn fine
You give me such an appetite
And I need your loving every night

Your love gets sweeter every day
Your love gets sweeter every day
Your love gets sweeter every day
Your love gets sweeter every day

Baby when you kiss my lips
Makes me want to go head over heels for you
When you whisper in my ear
What I say is how I feel for you yeah

Your love gets sweeter every day
Your love gets sweeter every day
Your love gets sweeter every day
Your love gets sweeter every day

Since I was sweet 16
I wanted you to make you my queen
Then until the day you were
You're the loving girl that's taking my hand

Your love gets sweeter every day
Your love gets sweeter every day
Your love gets sweeter every day
Your love gets sweeter every day

Now I'm glad I'm older man
See things are riding to plan
And baby if you promise me
We can build our world together

Your love gets sweeter every day
Your love gets sweeter every day
Your love gets sweeter every day
Your love gets sweeter every day

Walking so sweetly when you walk when you talk
When you dance with me girl
Walking so sweetly when you walk when you talk
When you dance with me girl

Favorite Things August

1. So funny t-shirt for my kids

2. Baby Bee stuff from Burt's goodness the lotion smells absolutely delicious! And I lovelovelove the shampoo bar.

3. Home Sweet Home candle by the Yankee Cancdle Company...makes my house smell "comfy cozy" as Piper andI like to say.

4. Mom's Day Out...there is nothing like having just 3 hours to get stuff done without worrying about crying or diapers or potty accidents or making sure you still have 2 girls with you and you didn't "accidentally" lose one.

5. Blingo click the link on my page and become one of my blingo friends!

6. I got this speaker thing for my ipod mini and I LOVE it! This way we get to listen to all the music I have paid good money for...I tell Jason all the time, what good is my ipod if I can't listen to the music? I mean, with 2 children I can't very well wear headphones and the FM transmitter thing I have in my car sucks, so I got these speakers and we listened to them all weekend. Kind of nice to have the TV off and dance around in the kitchen.

7. This new radio station I found in my plays like 80's and 90's but the really good stuff.

8. The Orlando Science much fun!

9. My Husband is on my favorites list right now. An absolute amazing man. He was going to surprise me with a trip away this coming weekend but he knew that with 2 children spontaneous = telling my in advance so I could prepare. Not sure what we are going to do yet, but it really is his idea that counts and it romantic all by itself.

Wednesday, August 03, 2005

missing you

I'm really missing my husband right now and it reminds me of when I was in college and we first starting dating and we had the unhealthy co-dependent relationship that is so great and intense and make-you-sick-to-your-stomach exciting. On those lonely nights I would listen to music and soon one song came to be one of "our" songs. It ended up being the song we danced our last dance to at our wedding. When I hear this song it literally wraps around my heart and squeezes it and I am an immediate wash of love and tears and emotion. Not many songs touch me in that way and speak to the way I feel about my soul partner and I want him to know that he is all that I need and all that I want...we don't need that stinkin pool, your love and support and humor and tenderness are more than enough to make my cup run over.

I miss you, jase

All I Want Is You - U2

You say you want diamonds on a ring of gold
You say you want your story to remain untold
But all the promises we make from the cradle to the grave
When all I want is you

You say you'll give me a highway with no one on it
Treasure just to look upon it
All the riches in the night
You say you'll give me eyes in a moon of blindness
A river in a time of dryness
A harbour in the tempest
But all the promises we make from the cradle to the grave
When all I want is you

You say you want your love to work out right
To last with me through the night
You say you want diamonds on a ring of gold
Your story to remain untold
Your love not to grow cold
All the promises we break from the cradle to the grave
When all I want is you

All I want is you
All I want is you
All I want is you

love you

Tuesday, August 02, 2005


So, vacation, yeah. well. uhm.

We left on Saturday morning before the sun woke up thinking we are going to make really good time because it was a 10 hour trip. The car was gassed up and loaded and everyone had gone to the bathroom so we were ready to go!

Everything was smooth until we hit Atlanta. Then we stopped. Accident. Interstate closed. We were in the car for over 3 hours without moving. There was one highlight - next to us was a delivery type truck and in the passenger seat was a man with a bandana thing on his head and Piper looked over at him and said, "Look, Mama, a pirate."

Finally they directed us onto an on ramp in the opposite direction and we had to figure out our way from there. We puttered along and finally got passed Atlanta about 4 hours later than we had anticipated. The girls were not happy.

Piper: "I don't want vacation. I want to go home. I'm not having a rockin good time."

What could be worse than that? How about getting lost. In the dark. On the back-roads of North Carolina. In the mountains.

All in all our 10 hour trip turned into a 17 hour trip and was not he best way to start our relaxing week away.

When we did finally arrive at the house we were greeted by all my family and told that we needed to tour the house o pick what room we wanted for the week. Apparently only 2 of the 6 bedrooms were air conditioned and one of the bedrooms was not livable because of an "odor" problem that seemed to originate with a "mold" problem that seemed to originate with a "water damage" problem.

Then there were the bathrooms. They look like they hadn't been cleaned in, well, they looked like they hadn't been cleaned EVER. There was black mold and gunk all over.

Needless to say, it was not what we were used to when it came to vacation homes. Other than that, however we had a very nice time. Lakehouses are not my's not surprise that I'd rather be at the beach... but Jason and I did get to go white water rafting, which I love and we had so much fun. My oldest brother Sean guided our raft and that was way more fun than having a real guide. We also hung out on Sean's boat and Jason did some wakeboarding and tubing that I only heard stories about.

Piper and Finn go to know their cousins and aunts and uncles more and it was a nice reunion time for our family. We went "gem mining" and tried to fish but were rained out. We did a lot of swimming and lazing around and the trip back only took a little over 10 hours and was actually a very nice ride home.

It was hot and humid and fun and togetherness.

check out the pictures here.